A thought forward...

Last night as I lay sleeping
I died .. or so it seemed,

Then I went to heaven
But only in my dream

Up there St Peter met me
Standing at the Pearly Gates,
He said, "I must check your record...
Please stand here and wait."

He turned and said "Your record
is covered with terrible flaws,
On earth I see you rallied
for every losing cause."

I see that you drank alcohol,
Smoked and partied too,
Fact is, you've done everything
A good person should never do.

We can't have people like you up here...
Throughout your life all you did was hear,
You carried out orders without pausing to think.
You never asked for instructions in ink.

Then he read the last of my record,
Took my hand and said, "Come in."
You stood in isolated places and shivered alone
You left your kith, kin, hearth and home
You come from an unresponsive, ungrateful nation
You were denied your rights by every Pay Commission

He led me up to the Chief of Heaven ...
"Take him in and treat him well",
He has served in the Indian Military ...
He's done his time in hell."

MAKE YOUR HOME MALARIA & DENGUE FREE!!!

Camphor- The effective & healthy mosquito repellent.

Malaria and Dengue are on a steep rise. We all must be using liquid or the old blue tablet type of mosquito repellents sold under various names. Despite their use, it is common to see mosquitoes hovering around with the best of repellents in action. Secondly, we cannot use these mosquito repellents whole day – be they be of any brand. Thirdly, many people land up with allergies due to them.

In the past, man would light diyas and burn camphor on a regular basis as a part of daily puja. These helped to purify the air and keep harmful bacteria, viruses and mosquitoes away! We can definitely have a better and healthy environment with the use of camphor.

Camphor or Kapur is a waxy, white or transparent substance extracted from the wood of the Camphor Laurel tree found in Asia. Camphor has many known medicinal uses-
It relieves nasal congestion and cough when rubbed on the chest as an oil. Camphor is used as an ingredient in throat lozenges and cough syrups and in Vicks. Camphor is also used in some anti-itch ointments, creams and cooling gels because it is can be absorbed through skin and is effective at treating pain locally. It has an analgesic effect which makes it a favorite oil to be used in pain relieving massage blends for sore muscles and arthritic pain. Camphor is known to improve the quality of air making it a better for our lungs and heart.
Many people are not aware of the Mosquito repellent power of Camphor - a simple solution without side effects and very cost effective. CAMPHOR IS A NATURAL MOSQUITO REPELLENT With effect round the clock! You do not need to burn it for that. There are three easier ways to do it -


1. Put 2 tablets of commercially available camphor on any warm surface- the device shown in the picture serves the purpose well. Plug it for an hour and see the results! You can do it twice a day- morning and in the night as well!
2. Place 2 tablets of camphor on different corners of the room or at places where mosquitoes seem to love to stay! Leave them there and they will evaporate in a day or so keeping the air purer and mosquito free.
3. Take a wide opened cup or plate with water. Drop 2 tablets of Camphor into the water. Keep the cup with water and camphor in your sleeping room. The quantity of water and camphor may differ from room size. Water evaporate at normal temperature. Camphor slowly started dissolving in water. The water evaporates with Camphor smell. Adding little bit hot water gives instant action.

You will be amazed at the results! Do experience it and help spread these healthy tips!

SHAYAD ZINDAGI BADAL RAHI HAI !!!!!!!!!!!

Few lighter moments !!!!!!!!!!!!!




Santa saw a beautiful girl. He went and accosted her.
Girl - What are you doing?
Santa: Law, 4th semester from Punjab University.
____________________________________________________

Santa: yaar I Notice a very Impotant thing
Banta: What is that?
Santa: Jab railway Fatak Band hota hai Tab Tab Train Jarur aati hai.
___________________________________________________

Santa cycle pe faqeer k pas se guzra..
Faqeer ne kaha ALLAH k nam pe kuch dy do!
Santa cycle rokte hue, "chal peeche beth tujhe jhulay doon..."
_________________________________________________

Banta -Tere Ghar Se Hamesa Hasne Ki Awaz Aati Hai, Khusi Ka Raaz Kya Hai?
Santa -Meri Biwi Muje Jute Marti Hai, Lag Jaye To Wo Hasti Hai,Nahi Lage To M Hasta hu.
__________________________________________________

Santa n Banta were watching a cricket match.
When Dhoni hits a boundary.
Banta: Kya Goal mara.
Santa: Raha Na bewakoof ka bewakoof, Goal is mein nahin cricket mein hota hai.
________________________________________________

Banta: tujhe apna laptop
bada karwana hai..?
Santa: Haan yaar..
Banta: to fir Isme se window nikalwa ke darvaja fit karva le..
_________________________________________________

Teacher: story sunao with moral.
Santa: 1din hm un k gar gye to wo soye huye the, 1 din wo hamare ghar aye to hum soye huye the.
Moral: Jaisi karni, waisi bharni.
______________________________________________

Santa : “I saw my Wife going 2 a movie with a strange Man.”
Friend : “Did u follow them inside?”
“No yaar,” replied santa “I had already SEEN the Movie !”
_____________________________________________________

Phone Ki Ganti Baji.
Santa : Phone Mere Liye Ho To Kehna Mein Ghar Pe Nahin Hoon.
Jasmeet: Wo Ghar Pe Hain.
Santa : Maine Mana Kiya Tha Ke…
Jasmeet: Phone Mere Liye Tha!
__________________________________________________

Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.
_________________________________________________

Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.
Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Good… Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Bad…. Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn’t say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You appoint me.
_______________________________________

Santa: Main Ne SANIA MIRZA Se Phone Par Baat Ki..
Banta: That’s Great Yaar.. Uss Ne Kya Kaha..??
Santa: Uss Ne Kaha.. "sorry Wrong Number.."
___________________________________________________

Santa : Kaisi Sabzi Banai Hai, Bilkul Gobar Jaisa Swad Hai !

Jasmeet: Hey bhagwan! Na Jane Inhone Kya-Kya Kha Ke Dekha Hua Hai. Gobar Ka Swad Bhi Pata Hai..!
___________________________________________________

Santa- “i m going” ka kya matlab hota hai?
Banta (khub soch ke)- “me ja raha hu.”
Santa (gusse me)- “oye! nahi jaane doonga. pehle matlab bata.”
________________________________________________________

Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE:-
C-Come,
O-On,
L-Lets,
L-Love,
E-Each,
G-Girl,
E-Equally……
Thats why boys go to college.
__________________________________________________________

Santa to rikshawala : Are o bhai khali ho kya
Rikshawala: Haan bilkul khali hoon
santa: Aao Chalo Phir Tash khelte hain..
_________________________________________________________

Santa-Teri Sabse Badi Takat Kya Hai?
Banta-Meri Patni
Santa-Sabse Badi Kamzori ??
Banta-Dusro Ki Patni.
__________________________________________________________

Garmi me Bus Stop pe Log bus K intizaar me khade the,
1 Faqir aya, Sub se Bhik mangi Or Taxi me baith kar chala gaya...!!
_________________________________________________________

Santa: I’m a proud father.
My son is in medical college.
Banta: What’s he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying,
they are studying him!
_______________________________________________________

Aik Pagal (hath mai cigarette chupa kr): batao mere hath mai kia hai?
Dosara pagal: rail gari...
1st:Tumhe kaise pata chala?
2nd:maine dhuwan niklte dekha...
________________________________________________________

Santa: Yaar aaj to 1 Rs me 3 amrood mil gye.
Banta: Wo kaise?
Santa: 1 Rs. ka 1 usne dia, 1 mai utha k bhag gya,
or 1 usne muje fek ke mara...
_____________________________________________________

Santa College Ki Ladki se Bola I love U! Ab Tum Mujhe Bolo
Girl:Mai Abhi Ja K sir Ko Bolti Hu!
Santa: pagli sir Ko Mat Bol Unki Shadi Ho Gai Hai.
________________________________________________________

Santa: Yaar ab tu mujhe SMS kyu nahi karta?
Banta: Petrol mehnga ho gaya hy.
Santa: Petrol & SMS?
Banta: Paisa load karvane k liye ghar se 10 km Dur bike par jana parta hai.
_____________________________________________________

Santa: Yar muje Rohail ne social work krne Pr bohat mara.
Batna: Social Work?
Santa: Han, me ne qabristan k gate pr Welcome ka board lagaya tha.
_____________________________________________________

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
____________________________________________________

Santa fouj me bharti hua....
2 Din bad jung shuru ho gaiii.....
Santa ki topi per goli lagi....
Santa ne hathyaar phenk diye aur chup kar bola ..
" Aqalmand ke liye ishara kafi hota hai...

Unspoken Communication Between Guys N Galz

EIGHT CLUES TO HAPPINESS
By- KHUSHWANT SINGH

Having lived a reasonably contented life, I was musing over what a person should strive for to achieve happiness. I drew up a list of a few essentials which I put forward for the readers' appraisal.

1. First and foremost is GOOD HEALTH. If you do not enjoy good health you can never be happy. Any ailment, however trivial, will deduct from your happiness.

2. Second, a HEALTHY BANK BALANCE. It need not run into crores but should be enough to provide for creature comforts and something to spare for recreation, like eating out, going to the pictures, travelling or going on holidays on the hills or by the sea. Shortage of money can be only demoralizing. Living on credit or borrowing is demeaning and lowers one in one's own eyes.

3. Third, a HOME OF YOUR OWN. Rented premises can never give you the snug feeling of a nest which is yours for keeps that a home provides: if it has a garden space, all the better. Plant your own trees and flowers, see them grow and blossom, cultivate a sense of kinship with them.

4. Fourth, an UNDERSTANDING COMPANION, be it your spouse or a friend. If there are too many misunderstandings, they will rob you of your peace of mind. It is better to be divorced than to bicker all the time.

5. Fifth, LACK OF ENVY towards those who have done better than you in life; risen higher, made more money, or earned more fame.. Envy can be very corroding; avoid comparing yourself with others.

6. Sixth, DO NOT ALLOW OTHER PEOPLE to descend on you for gup-shup. By the time you get rid of them, you will feel exhausted and poisoned by their gossip-mongering.

7. Seventh, CULTIVATE SOME HOBBIES which can bring you a sense of fulfilment, such as gardening, reading, writing, painting, playing or listening to music. Going to clubs or parties to get free drinks or to meet celebrities is criminal waste of time.

8. Eighth, every morning and evening, devote 15 minutes to
INTROSPECTION. In the morning, 10 minutes should be spent on stilling the mind and then five in listing things you have to do that day. In the evening, five minutes to still the mind again, and ten to go over what you had undertaken to do.

Nathaniel Cotton (1721-1788) summed up my views on the subject in one verse:

If solid happiness we prize
Within our breast this jewel lies
And they are fools who roam
The world has nothing to bestow
From our own selves our joys must flow
And that dear hut, our home.

Apurva on the right

Dear Reader,
I am posting few series of e mails which pertain to assistance to a serving Sgt of Airforce. Basically, these are posted here so that in case someone sees the child anywhere can inform the aggrieved family.

Dear Sir,
A copy of an earlier email- Spoke to the Sgt who is still looking for his child. He needs organisational support- can any one help to connect him to the service HQ(IAF-AOP/AOA)?
Brigadier PT Gangadharan (Guards)
Veteran

Hi Friends,
I have a very noble cause behind sending this mail to all of you. Please spare some time to read through it. I met a guy named Mr Ravi Shankar on the train when I was returning from Chennai on 26th of December, 2008. I was having a regular chat with him regarding the Army and its rules and regulations and how the forces are admired in our country. He then told me about a shocking tragedy that his family went through and hence I write this mail to seek your help.

He told me that he was posted in CAR-NICOBAR in the year 2004 as a sergeant in the INDIAN AIR-FORCE. On 26th of December that year his family fell victim to the unfortunate Tsunami that struck out on eastern coast. He along with his wife and two children (photo below) were washed in the deadly waters. Reaching out his wife managed to cling onto a tree but his small son (picture inset on the left) had swallowed too much water and passed away in her arms. Ravi also in desperation to swim lost grip of his daughter's (APURVA) hand. She was washed away and was never to be found again, until one day they came to know of her being sighted at a relief camp. On contacting the authorities they came to know that this little girl was abducted from the relief camp and was missing again. Since then Mr Ravi Shankar has been traveling to Chennai every year with a hope to see his daughter. He has been publishing MISSING columns in major daily's in chennai, and he showed me how heavily these newspapers had charged him for a those ad's. One of the major newspapers charged him a whooping amount of 12000 rupees for a 4 X 4 cm ad (that too on the fourth page). Please don't consider this mail a regular chain mail and do care to forward this to your near and dear ones. He requested me to do something to reach out to people who use e-media (internet etc). I myself have posted her picture on my blog and I request people who own there personal blog pages to post this girl's picture there as it could be of significant help. In case any news of any nature is found regarding her (APURVA) please drop in a mail to: reportmysignalblogspot@gmail.com
Brigadier PTGangadharan (Guards)
Veteran

Work Culture of Qantas ; In the Lighter Vein !!!!

Qantas is an airline company based in Australia . After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form called a Problem Sheet, which conveys to the mechanics, problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The engineers read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the sheets before the next flight.

Of course, the ground crews and engineers have a sense of humour. So, here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.
(By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had a fatal accident.)

read on .....

> P = The problem logged by the pilot
> S = The solution and action taken by the engineers

> P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
> S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.


> P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.


> P: Something loose in cockpit.
> S: Something tightened in cockpit


> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> S: Evidence removed.


> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> S: DME volume set to more believable level .


> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> S: That's what they're there for.


> P: IFF inoperative.
> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.


> P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> S: Suspect you're right.


> P: Number 3 engine missing.
> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.


> P: Aircraft handles funny.
> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.


> P: Target radar hums.
> S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.


> P: Mouse in cockpit.
> S: Cat installed.

-------------- Sudhakar Tyagi

Beggars' Classic from London

Parvinder and Habib are beggars. They beg in different areas of London

Habib begs just as long as Parvinder but only collects £2 to £3 every day.

Parvinder brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.

Habib says to Parvinder 'I work just as long and hard as you do but how do you bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day?'

Parvinder says, 'Look at your sign, what does it say'?

Habib's sign reads 'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support'.

Parvinder says 'No wonder you only get £2- £3

Habib says... 'So what does your sign say'?

Parvinder shows Habib his sign....

It reads, 'I only need another £10 to move back to Pakistan '.

----------------- Sudhakar Tyagi

Don't Be Serious, Be Sincere

Inaugural Speech for the new batch at the Symbiosis BBA program, Pune - 23rd June, 2008
- By Chetan Bhagat:

"Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you.

This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.

Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party – several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.

I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?

Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.

To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.

Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement. But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday? They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.

Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that. I must add, don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether it’s my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.

I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.

Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? Is the question you will need to ask? You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want to be. Disappointment' s cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India . From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved – movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result – at least I was learning how to write scripts, having a side plan – I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.

Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India , so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damm lucky by Indian standards. Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark.

Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.

There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.

I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, your eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks."

--------------------- Sudhakar Tyagi